Review of the “How Do I Tell the Kids About the Divorce? A Create-a-Storybook Guide”

Telling your kids about divorce is one of the most difficult and painful aspects of divorce, no question. It’s difficult on a number of levels, from the emotional turmoil it’s sure to cause to figuring out how exactly to tell the kids about your divorce.

What do you say? What shouldn’t you say? How do you answer their questions or deal with their emotional responses?

The Create-a-Storybook Guide for telling children about divorce was created especially to help parents handle this most difficult of tasks by answering all these questions. And it’s one of the very few tools – in fact, I can’t think of any others – that provides parents with such a direct, structured and practical approach to follow.

With input from professional therapists Create-a-Storybook is endorsed by psychotherapists, counsellors, lawyers and other professionals whose expertise brings them into close contact with families going through a divorce. (Details at the website, here.)

Vital Messages are Built-In to the System for Guaranteed Delivery

As you can read in my article, How to Talk to Children About Divorce, certain messages must be communicated loud and clear when you tell kids about divorce. These will leave your children understanding divorce in a way that will help them cope with divorce.

The Create-a-Storybook method ensures that these critical “messages” are delivered, and in a way that’s positive and beneficial for your children’s emotional well-being.

This is really important. It is a terrible waste to go through the emotional upheaval of telling children about divorce without, at the same time, delivering the essential messages they need to hear. Unfortunately, it’s too often the case – it’s all too easy to be thrown off track when emotions combine with a lack of structure to your meeting.

How the Create-a-Storybook concept works

Essentially the Create-a-Storybook guide to telling children about divorce involves (you guessed it) creating a storybook (full instructions included). You’ll then use this storybook – a personal, family storybook with photos and so on – to explain your divorce to your children.

The Guide tells you exactly what to say – the “script” (as it were) is built-in, and is in age-appropriate language.

There are two templates – one for ages 5 to 10, and the other for ages 10 to 15 – with plenty of options for customizing your storybook so that it is totally in tune with your family and circumstances.

The side benefits

As well as making sure your talk with your children is positive and supportive of their emotional health during divorce, the Guide includes additional advice such as when to tell the kids, and advice on including your spouse.

I think it also has to be said that “reading together” is an experience that many of us remember fondly – and that perhaps your children have enjoyed – as close, quiet and focused times that made us feel safe and at the center of our parents’ universe. And when you are telling your children about divorce, these sorts of feelings can only help.

I think too that if you have older children, outside the scope of the guide, it may benefit them to play a part in creating the Storybook. It’s important not to overestimate older children’s coping skills or abuse their desire to help you cope so this could be a healthy and positive way for older teens to work through the Storybook too, and be “helpful” and involved without taking on any actual responsibility.

Extra help for you and your children

As well as the actual Create-a-Storybook guide, the package includes “genuine value” extras to ensure all goes well. These are:

The Therapeutic Insights Journal. This is used soon after you’ve told your children about your divorce, to record responses and other key details. Combined with the expert insight contained in the Journal, this will help you identify areas that will need special attention, further clarification, and so on.

The What-To-Say CHECKLIST When Telling the Kids about Your Divorce. Although the essential messages are built into the Storybook, this checklist is a “must read” before your talk, and makes absolutely sure nothing is missed.

Recognizing Signs of Conflict in Your Child. In a sense, this is a “decoding” book to help you interpret your children’s’ behaviour after you’ve told them about your divorce, so that you know when they are troubled and can’t take action to help.

20-minute free telephone coaching session with Amy Sherman, LMHC. Amy is one of the expert contributors to Create-a-Storybook. This free session gives you an opportunity to ask questions and get personalized advice on the best way to ensure a child-centered divorce in your particular family.

Final word?

While the Create-a-Storybook guide includes expert advice, including identifying and dealing with questions and emotions that need following up, its great strength (and appeal) is that it is practical. Instead of overwhelming you with theory and then leaving you high and dry, it gives parents what they really need – an actual “how to” for telling children about divorce that actually walks you through the whole talk. This not only makes telling kids about divorce easier, but makes it far more likely that you’ll get it right.

The Create-a-Storybook Guide – How to Tell the Kids About the Divorce is currently $37. This includes the actual Storybook guide as well as the extra items above. All the components are supplied as ebooks and backed by a no-questions-asked “no hassles” 100% money-back guarantee for a totally risk-free purchase.

Filed under: Parenting During Divorce

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