There are thousands of studies and statistics relating to the effects of divorce on children. In most cases, the outlook is pretty gloomy, making the decision to divorce that much more difficult for people with children.
There’s no doubt that children of divorce do experience emotional and behavioral problems. What troubles me is these studies and statistics give the impression that divorce is solely responsible for those problems.
I think this is unrealistic. And I think it’s dangerously misleading for people trying to do the right thing by their children.
The fact is, by the time their parents reach the point of divorce, most children have suffered already – from the effects of a bad marriage. The trouble is, social scientists don’t take note of how these children feel and behave until after their parents divorce. And then blame their emotional and behavioral problems on, you guessed it, divorce.
Unfortunately, this leads many parents to spare their children the effects of divorce, leaving them stuck instead with the possibly far more damaging effects of their marriage.
