1000 Questions That May Help Save Your Marriage
When you would like to do everything you can to save your marriage from ending in divorce there are many tools to turn to, from step by step plans for saving a marriage to counseling and mediation services. Some require the cooperation of a spouse while others have a good chance of working even if you are the only one still trying.
However, it has to be said that the whole process of trying to save a marriage is easier when a husband or wife is as keen as you are to avoid divorce. In this case you have more options, and one that is well worth considering is 1000 Questions for Couples by Michael Webb.
Michael Webb is a well-known relationship “guru” with several books under his belt, not to mention numerous TV appearances. But looking beyond the personality, his advice has substance and is always practical with a good grasp on reality.
How can 1000 Questions help save a marriage?
Stopping a divorce involves many things and 1000 Questions for Couples deals with one of them head on – “rediscovering” each other. As counsellors know very well, this can not only save a marriage but make it better than it was before. After all, you not only gain a new awareness of each other but a new understanding – plus the experience of having been through and survived a difficult time, together.
What 1000 Questions for Couples does is give you the right questions to ask to discover (or rediscover) who you both really are, questions which in many ways explain why you are the person you are.
As I said above, Michael Webb provides substance not fluff and the same applies here. Questions are not gimmicky, party-style questions that most of us have asked or been asked at some point. They are solid often challenging questions that most of us have never been asked before, not even by our husband or wife – and perhaps not even by ourselves.
This is what makes 1000 Questions one of my favourite Michael Webb books – it’s a straightforward vehicle for a fascinating process of discovery leading to more than a few “aha!” moments as well as insights likely to support your marriage in the future.
Perhaps the simplest way to explain it’s value is that 1000 Questions for Couples has value not just for people looking to save a marriage, but as marriage-building questions for more happily married couples and people who really aren’t sure if they should marry their partner. So, if you visit Michael’s page, bear this in mind – it addresses a variety of situations. As Michael Webb explains:
“An estimated 83% of divorces would not take place if couples asked each other the right questions… While these questions are an absolute must for couples to ask while dating, over 700 of the questions are crucial for married couples to discuss too.”
Simple, positive, low-pressure approach to reconnecting
Finally from me, an important and often overlooked benefit is how 1000 Questions brings you together in a constructive and positive way that (unlike appointments with counselors and so forth) is also casual and relatively pressure-free. This is important. Often, when a marriage is in trouble, one spouse gives up trying because trying is too troublesome.
The idea is that you work through the questions one at a time, always working on the same question at the same time. You then email your answers to each other, or read them out to each other in some quiet time set aside for this. If you like, you can take advantage of a free optional service to have the questions emailed to you both, one at a time.
There’s a lot of potential in this approach for developing a sense of togetherness and perhaps laughter too in the shared anticipation of “what’s next?” and what your answers are going to be – two things that have most likely been sorely lacking in a troubled marriage.
For more details, you can visit Michael Webb’s 1000 Questions for Couples, here.
Filed under: Deciding to Divorce