Comments on: Father Support Groups Aim to Make a Difference http://www.dealwithdivorce.com/custody-support/fathers-support-groups/15/ Free Divorce Advice to Help You & Your Children Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:55:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Caroline http://www.dealwithdivorce.com/custody-support/fathers-support-groups/15/comment-page-1/#comment-2340 Caroline Wed, 19 Mar 2008 07:55:59 +0000 http://www.dealwithdivorce.com/custody/fathers-support-groups-aim-to-make-a-difference/15/#comment-2340 Dear Russell, Very sorry to hear about the challenges you face, worsened by your financial situation. I would like to recommend you contact the following organizations in Rhode Island and also that you try to do the following. FIRSTLY, separate your feelings for your ex-wife from your main objective - obtaining visitation. This is difficult but it is essential to recognize that you cannot change your wife and focus your energies where they can make a difference. It will also help you regain a sense of dignity by extricating yourself from an evidently vindictive "game." Importantly, it also makes it easier for legal organizations to help you when they are dealing with facts and a clear-headed "client." Remember, they are not emotional counselors. SECONDLY, be absolutely clear that you DO have rights as stipulated in your divorce decree. Work on gathering evidence that they are being violated - evidence of visitation requested and denied. For instance, emails and letters, and witnesses to phone calls and obstructive events. THIRDLY, be patient and accept that enforcement of your rights may (and probably will) take time. Pursue the contacts I have given below. As I said, they will be more than willing to help or to suggest who can, and all the more so if you stick to facts and practical issues rather than expecting them to help with your emotions too! Don't lose hope. Be patient and pursue all posibilities to the utmost. FINALLY, in the meantime, maintain contact with your children in any way you can - by email, telephone or letter. Do not on any account criticize their mother. Remember that you are your children's parent for life - you are not going to miss out of the many, many important events in their adult lives. In the meantime, do your very best to be part of their childhood lives too. You CAN be but you MUST put poisonous and ultimately pointless emotions to one side - rise above them! Wish you the very best. Caroline DealWithDivorce.com RHODE ISLAND LEGAL SERVICES 800-662-5034 401-274-2652 (Providence) 401-846-2264 (Newport) http://rils.org/custody_divorce.htm JUSTICE ASSISTANCE Telephone: (401) 781-7000 www.rijustice.state.ri.us/voca/VOCA/Justiceassistance.htm RHODE ISLAND BAR ASSOCIATION General Phone: 401-421-7758 Intake Phone: 800-339-7758 www.ribar.com (their website appears to be down at the moment so suggest you call) VOLUNTEER LAWYER PROGRAM Rhode Island Bar Association General Phone: 401-421-7758 Toll Free: 1-800-339-7758 TDD: 401-421-1666 www.ribar.com (their website appears to be down at the moment so suggest you call) Dear Russell,
Very sorry to hear about the challenges you face, worsened by your financial situation. I would like to recommend you contact the following organizations in Rhode Island and also that you try to do the following. FIRSTLY, separate your feelings for your ex-wife from your main objective – obtaining visitation. This is difficult but it is essential to recognize that you cannot change your wife and focus your energies where they can make a difference. It will also help you regain a sense of dignity by extricating yourself from an evidently vindictive “game.” Importantly, it also makes it easier for legal organizations to help you when they are dealing with facts and a clear-headed “client.” Remember, they are not emotional counselors. SECONDLY, be absolutely clear that you DO have rights as stipulated in your divorce decree. Work on gathering evidence that they are being violated – evidence of visitation requested and denied. For instance, emails and letters, and witnesses to phone calls and obstructive events. THIRDLY, be patient and accept that enforcement of your rights may (and probably will) take time. Pursue the contacts I have given below. As I said, they will be more than willing to help or to suggest who can, and all the more so if you stick to facts and practical issues rather than expecting them to help with your emotions too! Don’t lose hope. Be patient and pursue all posibilities to the utmost. FINALLY, in the meantime, maintain contact with your children in any way you can – by email, telephone or letter. Do not on any account criticize their mother. Remember that you are your children’s parent for life – you are not going to miss out of the many, many important events in their adult lives. In the meantime, do your very best to be part of their childhood lives too. You CAN be but you MUST put poisonous and ultimately pointless emotions to one side – rise above them! Wish you the very best.
Caroline
DealWithDivorce.com

RHODE ISLAND LEGAL SERVICES
800-662-5034
401-274-2652 (Providence)
401-846-2264 (Newport)
http://rils.org/custody_divorce.htm

JUSTICE ASSISTANCE
Telephone: (401) 781-7000
http://www.rijustice.state.ri.us/voca/VOCA/Justiceassistance.htm

RHODE ISLAND BAR ASSOCIATION
General Phone: 401-421-7758
Intake Phone: 800-339-7758
http://www.ribar.com (their website appears to be down at the moment so suggest you call)

VOLUNTEER LAWYER PROGRAM
Rhode Island Bar Association
General Phone: 401-421-7758
Toll Free: 1-800-339-7758
TDD: 401-421-1666
http://www.ribar.com (their website appears to be down at the moment so suggest you call)

]]> By: RUSSELL A. LEIGH http://www.dealwithdivorce.com/custody-support/fathers-support-groups/15/comment-page-1/#comment-2325 RUSSELL A. LEIGH Fri, 14 Mar 2008 19:22:43 +0000 http://www.dealwithdivorce.com/custody/fathers-support-groups-aim-to-make-a-difference/15/#comment-2325 TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, I AM A DISABLED FATHER WITH 3 BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH. I AM ON A FIXED INCOME AND CAN'T AFFORD A LAWYER TO ENFORCE MY7 DEVORCE DECREE VISITATION RIGHTS. MY EX-WIFE REFUSES TO GRANT ME VISITATION AND PLAYS HEAD GAMES WITH THE ISSUE. MY DAUGHTERS MISS ME AND ARE VERY UPSET BY THIS ALL THE TIME. I HAVE TRIED LEGAL AIDE, RI BAR ASSOC.,DISABILITY LAW CENTER ETC AND NO ONE WILL HELP ME BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY. IF THIS WAS HER SHE WOULD GET A LEGAL AIDE LAWYER TO HELP HER BUT I CAN'T GET ANY HELP. THIS IS NOT FAIR AND I FEEL SO HELPLESS. SHE DOES NASTY THINGS AROUND MY GIRLS AND EVEN MARRIED AN INDICTED CHILD MOLESTER BUT DCYF IN RI WON'T DO ANYTHING. I HAVE E-MAILED THEM, CALLED THEM, FAXED THEM ETC. AND NO REPLY. UNBELIEVABLE HA! I CAN'T SEE MY KIDS BUT AN ACCUSED CHILD MOLESTER CAN. I AM GOING CRAZY AND I AM SO HELPLESS. IF ONLY I COULD FIND A LAWYER WHO WOULD HELP PRO BONO BUT I CAN'T FIND ONE. I AM SORRY I VENTED LIKE THIS BUT I SAW YOUR SITE AND I FIGURED I'D GIVE IT A TRY. THANKS FOR LISTENING. TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN,

I AM A DISABLED FATHER WITH 3 BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH. I AM ON A FIXED INCOME AND CAN’T AFFORD A LAWYER TO ENFORCE MY7 DEVORCE DECREE VISITATION RIGHTS. MY EX-WIFE REFUSES TO GRANT ME VISITATION AND PLAYS HEAD GAMES WITH THE ISSUE. MY DAUGHTERS MISS ME AND ARE VERY UPSET BY THIS ALL THE TIME. I HAVE TRIED LEGAL AIDE, RI BAR ASSOC.,DISABILITY LAW CENTER ETC AND NO ONE WILL HELP ME BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY. IF THIS WAS HER SHE WOULD GET A LEGAL AIDE LAWYER TO HELP HER BUT I CAN’T GET ANY HELP. THIS IS NOT FAIR AND I FEEL SO HELPLESS. SHE DOES NASTY THINGS AROUND MY GIRLS AND EVEN MARRIED AN INDICTED CHILD MOLESTER BUT DCYF IN RI WON’T DO ANYTHING. I HAVE E-MAILED THEM, CALLED THEM, FAXED THEM ETC. AND NO REPLY. UNBELIEVABLE HA! I CAN’T SEE MY KIDS BUT AN ACCUSED CHILD MOLESTER CAN. I AM GOING CRAZY AND I AM SO HELPLESS. IF ONLY I COULD FIND A LAWYER WHO WOULD HELP PRO BONO BUT I CAN’T FIND ONE. I AM SORRY I VENTED LIKE THIS BUT I SAW YOUR SITE AND I FIGURED I’D GIVE IT A TRY. THANKS FOR LISTENING.

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