Most parents worry about the emotional effects of divorce on children. They may be worried enough to decide divorce is not “the right thing to do” and try to save their marriage. They may recognize that divorce is inevitable but be plagued with concern about how it is affecting their children.
These days, it is hard to come by an individual who does not know someone who has been divorced, or who has not been divorced themselves. In Hollywood, divorce is seemingly becoming a common occurrence, while paving the way for a society where we’re not only getting married later in life, but also searching for an almost unrealistic level of happiness in our marriage.
Many couples considering divorce refuse to believe that divorce can have a negative effect on their children. But many studies have been conducted that prove otherwise.
Whatever you do to minimize the impact of divorce on children, one effect is unavoidable: change. A child’s sense of safety and security is developed through consistency - a life that is much the same from day-to-day. Consequently, change is unsettling at best, and deeply disturbing at worst.
A study done with more than 200 divorced mothers and their children shows that divorce counselling can help kids avoid trouble when they get into their teen years.
I’ve summarized a report on the study by SAMHSA below and you can read the complete article on this page.
Report Summary
Most children of divorced parents in the United States (40 percent of all children) adjust well to their parents’ split.
Researchers at the University of Arizona tried to find out whether post-divorce counseling for children helped prevent some negative outcomes of divorce-conduct problems, dropping out of school, substance use, high-risk sexual behaviors, and depression-during the teen years.
Read the complete post »
It’s easy to think of our children - even our teens - as vulnerable and at risk from the effects of divorce. Teenagers may be older and more “worldly wise” (or so they like to think) but they are still children and at the stage where they are forming a strong sense of identity.
Will divorce hamper this important process? Not necessarily, according to a study by sociologist Chris Manning.
Parents worry about how divorce will affect their children but it’s easy to forget how resilient - and astute - children can be. At the end of the day, via some tears and tantrums, they are capable of accepting your decision to divorce.
The more children accept divorce, the less divorce affects children. However, their acceptance depends on two things. Firstly, how well you communicate with your children and secondly, whether or not your decision to divorce makes sense in their black-and-white world.
