There are thousands of studies and statistics relating to the effects of divorce on children. In most cases, the outlook is pretty gloomy, making the decision to divorce that much more difficult for people with children.

There’s no doubt that children of divorce do experience emotional and behavioural problems. What troubles me is these studies and statistics give the impression that divorce is solely responsible for those problems.

I think this is unrealistic. And I think it’s dangerously misleading for people trying to do the right thing by their children.

In “Divorce ends conflict - or does it?” I took a quick look at the belief that divorce can have a positive effect on children by ending the trauma of witnessing parents at war. I concluded by saying that parents will always be parents, divorced or not. But will they still be arguing?

In other words, if parents continue to argue after their divorce (and statistics suggest they will), children won’t gain from divorce. It’s the same situation – constant conflict – but worse: one parent is no longer at home.

You might dislike, despise or even hate your spouse but your children don’t. Divorce and the subsequent absence of a parent is an enormous loss for them – perhaps the very worst effect of divorce.

Assuming that you have several prospective divorce lawyers in mind to handle your divorce or custody case, you must investigate the qualifications of each attorney. Before investigating the qualifications of each attorney, you would be wise to set the bar on the minimum qualifications that are acceptable to you. An attorney’s qualifications in the following 5 areas will help you in your investigation.

Having kids is not a game, it’s a big responsibility. This will be a human life, that will be depending on you, for many years to come. It’s not right for two people, married or not, to expect a child to complete their lives. That’s way too much pressure to put on a child. You shouldn’t bring a child into the world, unless you can totally devote yourself to your child. It’s not just your life that’s being affected, but the way you raise and interact with your child will have a tremendous affect on how your child will interact with society at large.

Most couples start out by loving their kids and putting the needs of their kids ahead of everything else. But somehow, their values and good intentions can go astray, when the couples break up. Relationships aren’t easy, but the ending of a relationship, when kids are involved, is especially tough. The biggest losers, when these relationships end, are the kids. Not only have they lost some stability, but chances are they’ll be put in the middle of a custody battle.

According to Rob Emery in his book “The Truth About Children and Divorce,” 75% of kids of divorce end up doing very well despite the parent’s separation. Does this happen naturally or do the parents actions have an impact on how the children will respond to the divorce?

Having experienced a divorce first hand, I believe the parent’s actions will have an impact on the children after the separation. Don’t get me wrong; some children will pass through a divorce completely unaffected while other kids will obviously need some help.

A recent statistic shows that almost half of all marriages end in divorce. Divorce is difficult for everyone involved, but maybe the hardest on children. Most often they experience many feelings that they do not understand. They go through a range of emotions and need their parents to understand. If you are going through a divorce getting to understand how your children are dealing with it is important.